


promises

by tewawoona



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8249182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tewawoona/pseuds/tewawoona





	

Carlos rubbed his eyes wearily. Too early, too late, not right. He glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 2:53 in the morning. 

He rolled over, hoping to will his body to sleep. But his mind kept going on and on about half a dozen different things, all of which seemed incredibly important. He knew they weren't important or really even valid concerns, logically, but that didn't help. 

Cecil had said on their last date that Carlos was more than welcome to call or drop by anytime, and Carlos knew that the man kept late hours thanks to his job... but no. No. Carlos told himself he would not call his boyfriend of only three months just to ask for reassurance. That would be a silly thing to do. Carlos did not need help. Carlos did not need a shoulder to cry on. Carlos could get through this himself. It wasn't as if he hadn't coped with his anxiety in the past. 

He rolled over again. The sheets seemed to tangle up in his legs unnaturally and the air around him seemed a little too warm and his head was swimming and everything was pushing closer and closer in his mind and and and. The word 'and' over and over again in his mind. 

Carlos gave up on sleeping. He wandered out into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. The cold tile floor felt refreshing and calming under his feet. Maybe just a text would be okay. Just a text. That was normal, right? 

He hurried back to bed and grabbed his phone off the bureau, leaving the glass of water half full on the counter. 

**hey ceec**

Carlos didn't really expect a response, but one came almost instantly. 

**carlos! isn't this late for you? not that i'm not overjoyed! but are you okay?**

Carlos grinned, feeling a little bit ridiculous. 

**yeah, it is. couldn't sleep, that's all. miss you.**

**i miss you too. always when you're not here. come here.**

Carlos bit his tongue. This was... unexpected? Perhaps 'unexpected' was not the word. Cecil was predictable only in his pattern of contsant unpredictability. 

**okay. =) thank you, cecil.**

**:3 hurry!**

Carlos found himself pulling together a probably-misshapen outfit in the dark, too nervous and excited to pay much attention to his garb. He had given up trying to be as fashionable as Cecil long ago. 

The trip over seemed longer than it usually did. Carlos chose to attribute this to his current mental state. Around him, Night Vale was bustling in a quiet, gentle way. Perhaps bumbling would be a better descriptor. It was bumbling. Hooded figures loitered together in pools of darkness, apparently conversing. A group of Troy Walshes chatted amiably under a hazy yellow street lamp. It was... nice. Carlos was surprised that he found the atmosphere so reassuring. Slowly, surely, Night Vale was becoming his home. He didn't feel badly about that, even though he thought, absently, that he should probably be a little alarmed at himself. 

He was lifting a hand to knock on his boyfriend's door when it was opened by a smiling, content-looking Cecil. His hand was grabbed up in two warm ones and brought to Cecil's lips softly. 

"Carlos! I'm so excited you came, really, really, I didn't think you would. This is such a great surprise, I'm thrilled! You look beautiful, you do, but you seem tired, are you tired? Of course you are, you weren't sleeping. I'm an idiot, I'm sorry, would you like tea?" Cecil babbled as he dragged Carlos into his living room. It was warm, like Cecil's smile was. The lights were chalky yellow bulbs set in grandiose crystal wall sconces. The couch was a purple and yellow plaid. Somehow, the mixture of loud and tacky with elegant and overbearing matched Cecil perfectly. It looked right.

"Yes, please. I'd love that, actually." Carlos replied, squeezing Cecil's hand affectionately before letting go to drift towards the couch. He sighed as he sat down, curling into a corner and watching Cecil in the kitchen. 

Cecil hummed softly as he filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove. It was a cheery, bright tone, but Carlos found that it only made him drowsy. He was just dozing off when he was startled into full consciousness by the sound of something being set on the coffee table in front of him. 

Cecil met his eyes shyly, pushing the coffee table a little closer to the couch so Carlos could reach his mug of tea. He then settled down next to his sleepy companion, a rather respectful distance away. This disappointed Carlos, who felt a rather alarmingly strong desire to be cuddled. The anxiety that had almost gone away began to return, little by little, as he sipped his tea and chatted softly with Cecil. They weren't talking about anything of great importance, and Cecil hadn't asked why he hadn't been able to sleep. Cecil had asked little, and Cecil hadn't come any closer. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was annoyed. Maybe Carlos wasn't really good enough. Maybe maybe maybe. The word 'maybe' played over and over again in his mind and he hated himself for it. 

A moment of silence came, comfortable silence, familiar silence. At least for Cecil. It wasn't silent to Carlos because his brain was screaming bloody murder at him and he couldn't make it stop. 

"Cecil, I... come here? Please?" Carlos felt ashamed, tucked into the corner of Cecil's couch and holding his arms out like some frightened animal needing attention. 

Cecil dove at him, wrapping himself around his boyfriend and practically melting into his side. Carlos realized it was stupid to think even for a second that Cecil didn't really love him. Instead of comforting him, this realization only transformed Carlos' anxiety into humiliation. Instead of feeling neglected, he felt bad for doubting Cecil. He felt confused and overwhelmed at himself. He was too much adding up to nothing at all, and Cecil would see that sooner or later. Probably sooner. 

"Carlos... beautiful Carlos. Are you cold? You're shivering. What's the matter? Does something hurt?" Cecil mumbled, softly, almost a whisper. He had dragged Carlos' legs across his lap and was cradling him now. 

"No... no, I'm okay. I'm alright. I'm sorry, Cecil. That's all." 

"Why are you sorry?" Cecil asked, kissing his lover's temple. "Lovely Carlos."

Carlos smiled at the pet name, settling into a more comfortable position in Cecil's arms. 

"I just... look, it's silly, Cecil. I guess it's... I get nervous a lot. Sometimes. In waves, you know? About stupid things. And it's just... something I have to deal with. It's wrong with me. I'm not... I'm none of the things you think I am. And someday you won't want me anymore because you'll be bored of me and you'll be tired of taking care of me. And that's why I'm sorry, because I don't want you not to want me." 

Cecil rested his chin thoughtfully on Carlos' head a moment before replying. 

"I'm not going to make you a promise, Carlos, because promises are broken all the time. I'm just going to be here. I suppose that's a promise, by definition, but more than that, it's just a fact. It's just what I know. Like the sun coming up often enough. It just is. I'm here. I will be here. You can do whatever you want with that information, perfect Carlos, but it's going to be true whether you believe it or not." 

Carlos felt tension leaving his shoulders as he took a deep breath. It felt nice. A little bit like floating. He didn't say anything. There was nothing to say to that. Sleep finally seemed possible, and soon he was only vaguely conscious of Cecil rubbing his back gently and humming softly. It was a different tune than the one before. This one was haunting and low.

Carlos woke to sunlight filtering through Cecil's bedroom window. He was wearing the same clothes he had been in last night, but his boyfriend had apparently taken it upon himself to remove his socks. He could hear Cecil hammering away at coffee beans in the kitchen. It was close to noon, and he probably had half a dozen missed texts and calls from his team of scientists. The events of the previous night came back to him, a little slowly, and he grinned as he sat up, taking in his surroundings. He had been guest in Cecil's room before, but it was still something of a novelty. 

He was just thinking it might be a good idea to get out of bed when Cecil came into the room with two mugs of coffee, handing one to Carlos and sitting beside him. 

"Good morning, Carlos" Cecil said, his voice still a little rough. "I hope you're feeling better?" 

Carlos smiled. "I do, Cecil. Thank you." 

Cecil tentatively shuffled closer to Carlos, leaning on him as they sipped their coffee. It was quiet, and there were no promises. There was nothing hanging in the air to be broken or damaged. There was them. And that was more than enough.


End file.
